Wednesday 2nd August 2017

My mood in general today hasn’t been to bad which I’m actually shocked about to be honest. I had been feeling so stuck in a rut for ages, i didn’t think it would lift anytime soon; Especially today since it has been pouring it down for the best part of the day! Anyone that knows me well, will know that I HATE the rain with a passion, especially if my hair is down because I end up looking like a frizzy lion!! 

Anyway, our local park held a free fun day for every one. Literally everything was free except for ice creams and refreshment. Che and I decided to take Belle and Zak along even though it was raining (Zak is our 16 year old nephew who often comes down to stay with us from Essex during school holidays). Even though we have use of a car, we thought we would walk to the park instead as its only a 10 minute walk there. 

There was bouncy castles there but because it had rained so much, they had to be closed for health and safety reasons, Belle was abit disappointed at first but she understood that it wasn’t anyone’s fault and it was just one of those things. We had a walk about to see what else was on offer and she soon perked up when she saw the Cows, Sheep, Goats, Pigs and Chickens! Plus she even got to stroke some of them. Even Che enjoyed it. We moved on to the circus skills tent where Isabelle instantly picked up the hula hoop to show off her moves haha. She is actually really good and can do a far better job at hula hooping than I ever could. We bumped into one of Belles friends and his mum at the circus skills tent. We spoke about the school holidays and keeping the kids entertained, it was SO good to hear that it wasn’t just Che and I who prefer the ‘old fashioned ways’ of entertaining the kids and finding free fun things to do during the holidays rather than being glued to the tv/xbox/kindle all day every day. Che mentioned about how an other of Belles friends who we saw recently had told Belle of the places they’re going to and all the fun things they’re parents had planned for them. Which then turned into questions and the ‘its not fair’ speeches from Belle. Of course this triggered my thoughts of being a terrible parent because we didn’t really have much planned and we was just going to play it by ear each day as the great British weather is SO unpredictable! Funnily enough our park friend has also experienced the same thing recently too!! Just knowing there was someone else who was put in that situation made me feel a million times better as a parent. She will probably never realise how much her comment about finding ways to entertain the children has helped me personally and to understand that its not just me and that I’m NOT an awful parent my brain likes to make me out to be to myself! Shes a parent that I’ve always looked upon as always ‘having her shit together’ who has control and seems so chilled, happy and relaxed most of the time. I never thought someone like her would ever give me the time or day let alone make me feel so much better, even if she doesn’t realise it. So if our park friend is reading this then ‘Thank you so very much! You have no idea just how much that conversation today means to me’

Isabelle had speech therapy today for her stutter, which is now getting a lot better. I’m so proud of the progress she has made since starting it in Febuary this year. I’ve often felt guilty and bad about that as I’ve sometimes thought that, that was also my fault, however, I’ve come to realise that it isn’t and her stutter stemmed from other issues. We took Belle and Zak to McDonald’s afterwards as we had promised Belle over the weekend that we will go after speech therapy and sit in. That was something she enjoyed a lot as she got to play on their tabs without too much nagging from me to eat up or thats enough for the day. 

Overall today has been a good day for me mood wise and I’ve not really had any negative thoughts which I’m happy with. Seeing Belle happy and having a good time has made me happy and glad we took her out today in the rain.

I’m now looking forward to having my dinner, catching up on Hollyoaks and watching Celebrity Big Brother.

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