Tuesday 22nd August 2017

Well today was fun – NOT!! I woke up feeling absolutely exhausted, my whole body was like a dead weight and just ached like hell. My mind wasn’t there and I just couldn’t think straight for the best part of the day. I have Fibromyalgia to thank for that today, when ever I try to live a normal life, I always suffer for it the next day. When my nieces and nephew were down for a week, we were out every day doing all sorts of things to keep them entertained and to burn off their energy and so because of that, I’ve suffered majorly for it today as it has all caught up with me. I’m 32 this year yet today, I have felt like I’m 92 in gods waiting room. So for the best part of the day I’ve slept and rested on and off all day. The tiredness was something else today though and has really affected my mood big time. I’ve just felt so ‘Meh’ and down for no real reason really other than the extreme tiredness that has took over me and I suppose the  feelings of feeling absolutely useless and a waste of space when I can’t physically do as much as I’d want or need to do, doesn’t help much. These days I bloody hate with a passion because my skin has gone crazy and has decided to break out and be extra dry which really hasn’t helped with my mood either.

Che woke up in a more positive mood which made me happy because it hurts me when he’s so down on himself when he has no reason to be at all. As soon as he was awake he decided to post a picture up saying just how good he looks having just woke up…. smug twat! But seriously though, it was a pretty decent picture of him and I’m sure others would agree with me here, he did look good in it and I was the lucky one who had the pleasure of seeing his beautiful self all day today.

Today has mainly been a daddy daughter day for Isabelle and Che, which is always nice for them both because they always act silly and get up to things we don’t normally allow and I’d usually tell them BOTH off for, like throwing crisps at each other today!! Although they did clean them up afterwards. Although Che doesn’t like to admit it, he does let Belle get away with SO much when it’s just them two together, like Belle can be extra cheeky and sassy but Che will be cheeky back to her, it’s like having two kids in the house sometimes but in a good way! No matter how old Isabelle gets, I really do hope that they will both still have that silly/daft relationship with each other. 

Tonight Belle went to bed pretty well again, She was a tiny bit silly but nowhere near to how she used to be. Fingers crossed she keeps this up! I still feel shattered and even writing this is a struggle but I’m being kept awake with bloody toothache. My nightly pain relief meds have been taken but they have had no effect on my tooth, so instead I’m sat here holding mouth wash in my mouth in hope it might numb the pain because typically the Bonjela is nowhere to be found when its actually bloody needed! I’m hoping for a more active and positive day tomorrow. Before I finish up here, I would like to thank one of my best friends, Ian, for messaging me regularly to let me know he’s there despite the distance between us. To some that might not mean much, but to me, it means the world to know that my closest friends do care and don’t treat me any different or judge me despite my bad days and the days where I can be a bitch and not want to socialise or talk to anyone, they’re all still there and treat me the same.

 

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