Mentally checking out…

The caption in the picture is so bloody true!! I was proof of this last week. I was on holiday in Ibiza which is one of my favourite places in the world but during one of the days we were there depression seriously bit me on the arse – Hard! There was absolutely no reason for it at all, nothing had happend to set it off or make me feel how I did. Ibiza is my Disneyland – it’s my happy place, a place where hardly anyone judges you for being you. No one cares what you wear, how much or how little make up you have on, no one cares what size you are/how old you are/where you’re from. Everyone is there to have a good time and to just be happy.
Since coming back from Ibiza I have suffered badly with depression, I’ve tried my usual ways to bring me out of if but it’s not happening. I received some shocking and disturbing news on Sunday, which I can’t stop thinking about.
I’m also having a fibro flair which isn’t helping things either.

Trying to work on your brand, your sales and your self is seriously one of the hardest things someone can possibly do when your own mind is giving you shit and will not shut up and give you some peace. It’s easy for others to say “You need to change your mind set” or “Just stop being negative or thinking negatively” or “Think positive” believe me having a mental illness does NOT work like that, I wish it bloody well did because it would make my life as well as thousands of others lives alot easier!!
I am well and truly done with this year and I can’t wait for it to be over with. Since October 2018 we’ve had nothing but sadness, worry and stress in our lives yet very little support and loyalty from those who are meant to care. We were there for those who had gone through break-ups when no one else could be bothered with them. It’s clear now they only hung with us because they had nothing better to do, we were a stop gap until something better came along or until they got into an other relationship. When our lives started improving and in their eyes, we could potentially be seen as “better than them” things quickly changed and we were dropped like a sack of hot shit. Not a single ounce of support from them when they KNEW we were having such an awful time. I could go on about their wrong doings to us but I feel it would be seriously outting and I can not be bothered with the drama or the abuse. All I will say is that we will no longer be used like that by anyone wether you’re family or a friend, that isn’t how things work. I pitty the mugs who you have befriended and I wonder how long that will last before you move on to something better.

The friends I wish to keep are the ones who are loyal, who will support us, who will be happy for us when we succeed and are successful just like we are to them. Maybe I’m a rare case but I actually like to see my friends doing well in life and being happy! I can’t be bothered with those who are always bitter and jealous and will always find a way to put us down or discredit our goals or achievements.

If you’re a supporter of us then great, you’re my kind of person. If not, then I kindly ask you to exit my life drama free.

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