Very weird moment earlier…
I was in my PJ’s laying on Che’s lap on the sofa watching TV and I closed my eyes for a few minutes. When I opened them I very nearly went to say to Che “I’m going to get dressed and go over to my nan and grandads for abit” obviously that isn’t possibly anymore but I wish it was. I’ve not said something like that for awhile!
They’ve been on my mind more than usual just recently, I wish more than anything that I could just go over and see them anytime. I wish I could just pick up the phone and have a chat with them or go to their house for a very much needed nurturing cuddle, comfort, support and reassurance. I wish I was able to tell them everything that’s going on at the moment and has gone on and to be able to ask for their advice.
I wish I could take Isabelle over to their house every day after school so she can tell them about her day or how annoying and embarrassing I am or show them the new toy/doll that she’s just got. I wish they could see the wonderful little girl Isabelle has grown into and the amazing young lady she’s growing up to be. It really hurts that she’s missed out on SO much with them – Her first day at school, sharing her brilliant school reports with them, all the great things she’s achieved so far at school, the school plays, her first ballet show at the winter gardens, taking them on days out with us, taking them on holidays with us, sleepovers, watching TV and films with them, having them round for a cuppa tea and dinner every week, taking them shopping, take them on drives, seeing Isabelle in their garden with my grandad teaching her some gardening skills, my nan doing word searches or teaching her how to knit, seeing them all the time and spending lots of time together. Just some of the things so many people take for granted who don’t appreciate or even realize how lucky they are. I’m pretty sure that if they were still here the thought of moving so far away wouldn’t of even crossed my mind!
I just know that my nan and grandad would’ve idolized Isabelle and be so proud of her just like we are of her.