Back to school… again

The time has come for all the children in the UK to return to school after an other lockdown. This time it feels different. Maybe it’s because we’ve been given hope for the not too distant future and that life will return to some sort of normality soon.

All weekend I’ve felt emotional about the thought of Isabelle going back to school on Monday. Despite knowing about it for a while, I just don’t feel ready! I’ve had a ball of anxiety sitting in my stomach all day whilst I’ve tried not to cry.

Lockdown has had it’s good and bad points and home schooling has certainly been challenging. 😬 I feel like I’ve really got to know Isabelle properly again during the entire time she’s been off school. Usually we are all really busy and we didn’t get much time to really watch her grow as a person and really get to know the other sides of Belle. Obviously I know her well, what she likes and dislikes but I didn’t know the friend side of her well enough. Hearing her talk and play online with her friends has shown me what an amazing friend she really is, one I even wished I had growing up.

She has been lucky enough to meet her now best friend online through an other school fried of hers. How lovely is that?! Let’s call her best friend K for now. I absolutely LOVE how supportive she is of K and how K seems to be the main person Belle talks about ALL THE TIME. They were always on zoom calls together, chatting and laughing their little heads off every day. Hearing children laugh really is one of the most heart warming sounds in the world. I can’t wait for the day when the girls can finally meet up, I think there will definitely be tears from Ks mum and I. 😂

As well as learning what Belle is like as a friend, I’ve been lucky enough to really get to know the grown up version of Belle. It feels like she went into lockdown in March 2020 as a young child and now she’s coming out of it a year later, as more of a pre teen. Her kindness and caring ways melt my heart. Her attitude to life and the way she sees the world and people has changed, she’s a lot more clued up than what people realise! Her confidence and sass in certain situations has grown massivly and the conversations we have are no longer child like but are more grown up and what I’d expect from a young teenager!

I’ve loved having Belle home and spending that time with her, she has been with us during all of it. The worry is going to be there and I’ll be wondering if she’s going to be safe from the virus but at the same time I’m excited for her to be going back to see other people and to learn in a proper school environment. I will miss her so bloody much but she needs this and I know that once she’s been dropped off and I’ve had a minute to get myself together, I will realise that I need this too no matter how gutting the feeling of missing her is.

Roll on the Easter holidays! We should be able to meet with other people within reason by then and we will be able to start to enjoy days out and living life away from being indoors most of the time! 🐣

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