Resting is all I can do

And rest is exactly what I’ve been doing!
Though, it feels like I’ve been resting for what feels like forever!!

I’ve took quite a lot of time out for myself which feels really odd because I’m usually there for pretty much everyone else and I tend to forget about me.

Since my operation almost 12 weeks ago I’ve had no option but to rest as it was needed to recover and to let my body heal. I feel fine now with a few niggles here and there but nothing major. 😀😀

However, I had some tests done recently and it seems other areas of my health aren’t as great. I’ve had suspicions of MS for quite a long time and stupidly I ignored it until I couldn’t take much more and spoke to my doctor. He agreed that I am showing a lot of symptoms but he wants to rule out other things first.
One of my test results came back that my immune system is attacking itself and I’m now on a high dose of medication for the next 8 weeks and then it will drop to a smaller dose which I will need to take for the rest of my life. 
My doctor has now referred me to see a Rheumatologist to find out more and to rule out other things.
I’m not going to lie but it’s really upset me. I’m 35 yet my body feels like it’s 85 waiting at deaths door most days!
As much as it’s upset me it’s a relief that it’s “not all in my head” as I was starting to believe. I would look around at people my age and wonder what their secret was? Why could they be super active and not look and feel as shitty as I do? How comes they don’t feel shattered and ache everywhere after 20 minutes of being outside? Why can’t I be like that?! The frustration can be overwhelming at times.
I always try not to let my health issues get in the way of life, though it is hard sometimes but I will NOT let it rule or ruin my life, that just isn’t me! I won’t sit here and just take it, that’s not happening!

Whatever the outcome, it’s something I will just have to deal with and maybe adjust my lifestyle to work with it rather than against it but I will NOT give up on life!!

I am incredibly lucky to have a decent support network who I know will be here to support me and make life feel not so bad during the difficult days.
❤❤❤

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